The Book -- Chapter Summaries
Chapter 23: Individual Time


Chapter 1: Considering Divorce
Chapter 2: Whom Do You Tell, and Why?
Chapter 3: Reassuring the Children
Chapter 4: Telling the Children
Chapter 5: Buying Presents, Buying Love
Chapter 6: Children Blaming Themselves for the Divorce
Chapter 7: Short Visits
Chapter 8: Creating a Schedule
Chapter 9: Handovers
Chapter 10: Transitions
Chapter 11: Telephoning Home
Chapter 12: Why Not on Thursdays?
Chapter 13: Staying in Touch
Chapter 14: Sharing Dad's Bed
Chapter 15: Two Birthday Parties
Chapter 16: Moving from the Family Home
Chapter 17: Grandparents
Chapter 18: Playing Messenger
Chapter 19: Keeping Secrets from Parents
Chapter 20: Therapists
Chapter 21: Last-Minute Cancellations
Chapter 22: Reading the Agreement
Chapter 23: Individual Time
Chapter 24: Assuming New Responsibilities
Chapter 25: Sleep-Over at Dad's
Chapter 26: Gender Stereotypes
Chapter 27: Fiscal Responsibilities
Chapter 28: Introducing the Significant Other
Chapter 29: Just Like Your Father
Chapter 30: Refusing to Spend Time with a Parent
Chapter 31: Adolescent Dating Anxiety
Chapter 32: The Disappearing Parent?
Chapter 33: Long-Distance Parenting

In which Tony, age fifteen, wonders how he can get some private time with his father.

For kids, one of the most puzzling and exasperating results of the divorce is that frequently, for the purposes of organizing the schedule, the children are lumped together as a homogeneous group, irrespective of their ages and needs. From the children's point of view, there are good reasons to individualize the schedule. The commentary is based on this child-oriented perspective. It offers suggestions as to how to make schedules flexible and meld the needs of different children with the time and work commitments of parents. The diary reveals why many of these changes come about at the instigation of children, and why they serve to benefit all the siblings, not just one individual.

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